There's a famous line in the original 'Jaws' when a terrified Brody says to Quint, "You're gonna need a bigger boat."
Today, I knew that feeling intimately.
An issue with my back -- searing, round-the-clock pain -- has limited my ability to do anything physical lately but a Wildlife Victoria call regarding cruelty to a Blue-tongued Lizard in St Kilda seemed easy enough so I responded and was given an address and phone number of a cop who was on scene. Seemed strange that police would be involved in such a minor matter but I was told the lizard had been left behind in an abandoned apartment, hence the possibility of an unstable situation. I arrived with a standard-sized carrier, got let in by the building's ashen-faced landlord, and took stairs to the top floor. Near the end of a long hallway two policemen stood outside an open door. As I walked towards them they looked at my carrier, looked at each other, and laughed.
The St Kilda goanna. |
I walked past them and into a den of human misery -- trash strewn on floors and tables, clothes scattered around -- with a closed bathroom door. One of the four police officers on scene took out a phone and played video of what lay behind the door: a large, hissing goanna on a big piece of wood. I cracked the door open slowly and there beside a dirty toilet and sink was a nearly 5-foot-long lizard perched on a sun-bleached log.
Alrighty then.
It's intimidating to be around police officers regardless of circumstances, much less in a seedy hotel room holding a puny animal carrier as a giant lizard hisses in the bathroom. My immediate concern was time: how much did I have to get the animal out of this dump and into care? We were in obvious need of a large reptile handler but they're not readily available in St Kilda on a Tuesday afternoon. I called a direct line to Wildlife Vic and spoke with Heidi, who was expecting to receive a Blue-tongued Lizard from me to take into care. It was my duty to inform her we had, instead, a mini-dinosaur to deal with. She said she'd begin calling around for a specialist and I made a quick return to my home to change into sturdier, bite-resistant clothes.
Its crude accommodations. |
Den of human misery. |
But he didn't leave, as I'd learn later.
An officer gave me his phone number and told me to call in case the man didn't like the sight of 'his' goanna being taken away. I waited in the room and occasionally checked on the goanna, who by now had crawled inside his log and gone quiet. Roughly 90 minutes later a reptile handler from Melbourne's north arrived. Despite being told by the police to let us do our work without interruption the man approached my colleague as he neared the building's doors. Sadly, in 2014, one cannot assume anything about people -- especially what may be coursing through their veins. I let my colleague in, filled him in on the latest, and helped him move the log-ensconced goanna out of the bathroom. From there things got, well, humourous. During his brief interlude with the gentleman on the sidewalk my colleague had learned the goanna's name was 'Scratch' so we both started saying "Hey, Scratchy" like the three of us were old mates. My colleague had brought an enormous carrier (that would still require the lizard to fold its tail) but Scratch showed zero interest in being removed from its log. Actually, it showed clear disdain for this plan with a ritualistic hiss/growl that sounded like someone firing up a leaf-blower every 10 seconds.
In the truck's backseat we covered the ends of the log with roo bags and buckled it in tight. Scratch was heading to a carer in the country who specialises in reptiles. After getting a clean bill of health he'll hopefully be returned to his native NSW/Queensland and live the rest of his years in the bush. I thanked my colleague for his efforts, he thanked me for mine, and we parted ways, destined to meet again via Wildlife Vic and another animal rescue down the track.
UPDATE
So this happened today:
(photo courtesy of Stewart Mackenzie) |
More to come ...
3 comments:
Haha im sorry but im still laughing about this, its the one of the funniest things that has happened. Good job im glad I could be a part of this. Heidi
I'm confused as to why the Department of Environment and Primary Industries weren't involved. I thought they investigated all crimes against wildlife, including unlicensed possession??
Cheers,
-Anna Ross
Anna, DEPI are involved, the carer that it has gone to is fully licenced through DEPI and in contact with DEPI. Our main concern was to remove the animal from the bathroom of the trashed apartment/hotel room and get it into care with someone that could give it the correct housing and warmth that it needed. I transported it to the carer and as soon as it was put in the enclosure it went to the heat lamps, something it needed and didnt have.
Cheers Heidi
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