Farewell, 'Poppa O'

Our time on this Earth is limited. Not a groundbreaking thought, but one that lingers like sulphur from a lit match when you learn of a familiar person's passing.

I was only in the presence Ralph Ortiz ('Mr Ortiz' to me) a handful of times. First in NJ when my brother Kevin and his wife Ruth were preparing to get married in the mid-'90s. Mr Ortiz was mild-mannered, quick to smile, kind ... a gentleman. Magdalena, his gorgeous, pint-sized wife, was clearly the 'talker' of the two. Whatever came his way, Mr Ortiz handled it with the grace and good humour of a man of depth.

Mr Ortiz got sick several years ago. Ruth and her two brothers, as well as my amazing brother, have done what they could to help him and Mrs Ortiz during his decline, which ended last week with his passing.

Besides hoping Mrs Ortiz was coping, my immediate thought was a wish I'd gotten to know Mr Ortiz better. Like most men of his generation he wasn't inclined to share his story -- he was more interested in asking questions and listening intently to others. My most memorable time with him was a Thanksgiving spent at Kevin and Ruth's home in the foothills of the Smokies. The Ortiz's were there, as were other members of their family and me and mom. Mr Ortiz spoke of meeting his wife and playing semi-pro baseball and creating art and raising three kids in North Jersey. Nothing earth-shattering, but absorbing all the same.

He was a man of substance, not style. A man to respect. A man to emulate.

And now, a man to miss.

Kevin sent an email the day after he passed. It began with 'Poppa O in peace now' as the subject:

Hey guys, hope all is well. The funeral went very well, the priest who married us 15 years ago performed. He's now a bishop -- a beautiful man of love and understanding. He came to the house 3 days before Ralph passed. He was at the viewing last night and came to Poppa O's tomb as well. The funeral mass was held at the cathedral in Newark, you know where we were married. Now instead of walking with his beautiful daughter down the aisle, she was crying uncontrollably. He was pushed by men who loved him, with sobs of others around him who already miss him. Some beautiful words were spoken by many last night and today by family and friends. It's amazing how we can touch others' lives in many ways, either by big ideas and actions or just small actions and kind/wise words. Maddy O holding up well. Love ya Kevin.

Aradhna and I send our love and condolences to everyone in the States blessed to have known Mr Ortiz. I wish we were there to pay our respects.